Yes, well, .. the 'Free flow of love' sounds nice but this is touching on the deepest hurt we all have. The deepest hurt I have is about not feeling loved or lovable. I look for acceptance and approval in others. Many of my apparently loving gestures to others are in fact actions to win approval from those people or from the gods.
So how 'free' is my flow of love if I am hoping to win approval and support from the guiding spirits? Can I disengage myself from this?
This is being part of my 'cleaning' over these months. I now become aware very quickly when I am trying to win love or acceptance from others through my actions. I call them or meet up to apologise and remove any expectations I might have placed upon them to return any favours.
It is becoming manageable with physical people, but with the great spirits what do I do? I actually do want to feel their support and love. I am assured by my shamanic friends that these spirits are there supporting and loving me anyway, whether I am aware of it or not. In my meditations, dreams and rituals I invoke their loving presence and help.
There seems to be a subtle but important difference between 'trusting that the great spirits are with me' and 'trying to win their accompaniment through certain actions',
My meditations for these next days will include the question, which of my actions are 'only' to win approval of the gods? I will ask their guidance.
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