Stepping into the void

I have felt on the edge of the precipice for some time. All my previous projects finished. All my newly proposed projects were rejected by funders. My individual therapy clients have disappeared. Only a few people book on my current Shamanic Dance workshops. So what is happening. Nothingness. The void.
In my dreams and meditations, when I ask the wise spirits what I have to do and how am I supposed to earn and pay my way? The answer I keep getting is "Dance and Clean-up". I have struggled with this. How on earth is dancing and cleaning supposed to pay my rent? But over the last 9 months I have incorporated dancing and cleaning into my daily practice. I can give thanks to the great spirits that I'm not working! This gives me time to Dance and clean.
I am now dancing 5Rhythms with Sangeet, and on my own, some 10 or more hours per week. This has helped my connection with my body and with the earth. The workshops with Sangeet have helped me find trust in my own power, learning to love some old rejected parts of myself.
The cleaning has been more complicated! I have had to face and deal with my attachments to shirts, old projects, my attempts at writing articles and various versions of 'my book', items stored for 'recycling', my beliefs, my emotions, .... Much more cleaning still to do.

My 'last post', the 'first post', was titled 'Finally the beginning', and this phrase has been very present for me over these weeks. Standing at the precipice and stepping into the void are fine concepts, but what do they really mean? How can I know that I am not inventing an interesting fantasy? How do I know I am really there and really ready? Which precipice? What help do I need to trust and step into the void?
Small miracles. Connections with new people through my dancing and support from my dear shamanic friends (Sofía, Stella, Nico and Pio) over these months have helped me discern which voices to listen to and how to trust my steps forward into this void. I thought I had to 'do something' - to 'jump'. In my ignorance, and from my painful experiences, I was expecting some great trauma. But no. I am already well into the void and the Great Spirits are taking care. Suffering is past. Finally the beginning.

There is only love.