Value and self-esteem

In sharing this contract with some close friends and helpers over these last weeks, some have become quite serious with me: "You can't do this. You have to value yourself. This means putting, and standing by, a real price on your activities and services."

On one hand I agree completely. Most of my life I have not listened to or properly valued my own needs. I have been working with this for over 20 years. I had this in my meditation on Wednesday morning, and found some insight for myself, which I share with you.

Value
What do we value? By which criteria? Value seems (in our culture) to be equivalent to money. I even hear some 'spiritual paths' and approaches like 'the Secret' saying 'if you don't have money then you do not value yourself.' Hm, interesting.
In our culture then the arms-sellers, pornographers, money-traders, lawyers and politicians etc obviously have more self-worth than I do. And the exploited people, land, cultures, resources, etc only have value for their exploitation.

I passed through a meditative phase of battling against the above values. We should create a system which values the creation and support of life as its base. So things such as mothering, childcare, eldercare, earthcare, etc would be the highest paid activities in this economy. But this becomes complicated, and is complicated in our current economy where the 'so called' creators of work and resources are highly valued whilst they destroy or over exploit other elements of the global economy. There can be no heirarchy of value.

In my meditation I became aware once more of the transpersonal sense of self. My individual self has little meaning when not connected to a universal unity or God-self. In this universal unity then everything has value. I have value in as much as I value all existence (known and unknown, pain and pleasure, ...). As Krishnamurti said "There is pain. There is love." In trying to possess them (or money) I (the individual) contribute to the sense of separateness from the God-self.

Either everything, really everything, has equal love and value or I am placing myself above God in deciding which parts of creation are good and bad. Yes I am born into a body and with choice. I do not eat in MacDonalds or have sex with everyone I might fancy. These are choices within the very limited context of the tiny part of God-self I manage here in this life. These cannot be universal declarations regarding value or love.