The wisdom of insecurity

I have been wanting to write here over these last days. Lots happening .... but I really don't know how to explain it: Are these experiences real? Are they projections of my inner wishes? Am I being guided? Am I going mad?

Last Tuesday - wednesday I had an exiting enquiry about my 'men's work', a solution to my problems, a therapeutic community where I could live and develop my work. Very quickly I realised that this was all my projection, the enquiry was a sales pitch to sell me their rooms. I untangle my projection and stay at home instead of going of to visit.

And in staying home I received another (strange) phone call: 'Nico says you have to meet my uncle!', "Who is your uncle?', 'The man that Nico says you should meet' .... right ... mysterious ... well I trust Nico so I agree to meet Jean Françoise on Friday, and then every day til Tuesday. J.F. seems to me, to be a 'master' in training. He has lots of love, vision, insight, wisdom, connection with higher wisdoms, .... but with some hurt which sometimes clouds his vision and actions (very like myself, each in our own ways). These days have been a lesson in being able to trust whilst doubting and taking some care at the same time.
But I have learned:
- to be able to be in the place of doubt, of not knowing, without having to close the relationship one way or the other
- to watch and smile lovingly at my projections
- to hear both brutal truths and elogies without building any closed interpretations upon them
- to trust in my connection with the greater spirits, their messages, my way of working with the images that arise, without building anything 'special' upon these

Meantime I also re-found and have been reading Alan Watts 'The wisdom of insecurity", a magnificent explanation of where I am and what I am exploring.