A couple of weeks ago I mentioned the 'Joker' and this has become clearer these days, more in the form of the Tarot archetype 'The Fool'. A bit of exploration shows that his characteristics are much of what I am living now:
- The end and the beginning - Finally the beginning
- the end of being driven by basic urges and needs which lead to deprevation
- the end of the naivish fantasy that the next project will sort my life
- At the precipice - the void - is this madnes or spiritual development?
- Rebirth, letting go of all previous knowledge - I don't know anything
- Let go of expectations, trust our heart and instincts in the now, follow the pleasure
- Little baggage - clean-up and clean out
- On a journey but no idea where he is going
On Friday night I dreamt I was acting as the 'clown' around Sagrada Familia and Av.Gaudi, listening to my body as I do in dancing, but now finding different roles to act (begger, business man, climber, ...). Xavi or Paco were there as 'protectors' and filming me.
I am reminded of this feeling I have often had that I am a kind of chamelion, and change roles very well. Usually these role changes have been more unconscious neurotic mechanisms in order to adapt myself to situations. But as a conscious tool it is different. Not attached to role or outcome. This will be the hardest part as far as I can see - my habit of looking for approval and adjusting my role accordingly, makes me lose the contact with myself and so I also lose the channel for the wise spirits to guide me. This happens to me sometimes when dancing.
Lets see how we can train 'The shamanic shapeshifter'.
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