Over the last 15 months, since the pegasus image appeared in my dancing, I have had a range of experiences of 'riding the dragon'. In this image my sensitive and spiritual aspects (the wings of pegasus) sit upon and hold the reins of my more animal part (the horse) representng my agression and sex. My lifelong fear was that these powerful animal energies were dangerous, they would hurt me or others. But in repressing them I have not been able to feel my needs, much less express and defend them... as in the post below ... and this is felt in the arthrosis in my hips.
The pegasus was the first time I could sense that these two aspects could live together, that I could permit my animal nature, because I could control it.
Over the last months the experience has been exciting in my dance and life - trusting and permitting this aggression and sexuality. And just a few weeks ago I suddenly had the sense of being fully ONE, there was no controller. I was fully the dragon, connecting to God via my heart. I was trusting that with this compassion and trust in my heart I can let go of control and dance my dance in the world.
But there are other dragons. I realise that my victimism, judgement, arrogance and sense of superiority are clever beasts. Even in these moments of chosen (relative) poverty and humility (I don't know anything) the dragon subtly changes its skin. I have been playing a game of 'showing my poverty and humility', a badge to get noticed and win approval. It is indeed the apparent caring 'Good Boy' with no needs that is the dragon. The animal is just the animal and is probably much closer to God than the manipulating pretty wings. Compassion. Compassion.
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